ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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