I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
