You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
