I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
