break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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