in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
