omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
