Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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