If that was your dad, he is hot
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
