I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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