i just wanna soil my oats bro
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
