We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
