I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
