I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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