I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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