I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
