I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
