People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love having hate sex.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
