Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
