I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize