our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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