and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
