i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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