A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
