Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize