the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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