Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
