i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
