you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
