i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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