I wish my penis had an off switch
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
