I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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