its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
