So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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