We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
