Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize