That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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