i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
