why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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