and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
