hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
