Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
