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hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
