bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
