Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
