He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
