There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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