remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i think i just lost a toe
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
