see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
