Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
