so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
