did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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