Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
