"it" just moved
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize