While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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