super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
