have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
