clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
