...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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