Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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