can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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